missing “the days”…
I usually deal with change really well, often embracing it, asking it in for tea, sitting down with it and becoming very-well acquainted in a relatively short amount of time. I guess that is the fancy way of saying it doesn’t take me long to get comfortable with “new and different”. I moved to McMinnville just six months ago, and, just yesterday while driving around, I realized that I feel as though I’ve been here and part of here for a long, long time. A lot of that has to do with my amazing church and the amazing people there that go out of their ways to make me feel welcomed, loved, appreciated and cared for. A lot of it is the community here - it is a community made up of people that, for the most part, seems to truly care about each other. I like it here, and I am glad we moved here. I feel at home here, and I feel good about making a home here for my family. The change involving moving here has been good…and welcome. There are some other changes that I am struggling with. My kids, and my camp kids, are getting older and moving away, graduating, getting married, studying abroad, and doing all those other things that grown up kids do. But I don’t like it - any of it. I miss the days of piles of kids piling around my house, or my camp, and I miss being privvy to all the details of all aspects of their world (or at least all the aspects that they allowed me to be privvy to). Yes, those were “the days” for me….and I miss them, both “the days” and the kids. I miss their faces. I miss their voices. I miss their hugs. I just miss them. And I think I fear that the missing is going to become the rule as opposed to the exception. As they continue to grow older, they will continue to change, mature, move, graduate, marry, travel, etc., etc., etc. I just wonder how much I’ll actually get to be privvy to as time goes by. And I already miss them so much now, how will I even tolerate missing them more? I guess I’ll find out…
April 24th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Barbara, I’ll always be a part of your life, and you in mine. I completely understand your thoughts though. For me, it’s that, “all my friends are moving away, and maybe I am too.” I miss the days at camp where we worked our asses off for a few weeks, but through that the group of us living at Sterns bonded. Everyone I worked with there over the few years, particularly those who lived in Sterns, I consider my best friends. I miss those days too.
April 24th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Thank you, Joshua. I think there’s just a LOT of change in my world right now and I miss the people I love a lot.
April 25th, 2008 at 6:20 am
Barb, I know what you mean. As our kids (any kid in our lives) get older they seem to need us less. But I think we must go back and cherish those quiet moments invested over time that bring great reward. It’s like compound interest. You don’t ever see it until a statement shows up that says by being quiet, leaving your investment where it is, nurturing it and allowing it to mature, it will grow.
What you don’t see Barb is your heart. You do not see that the things you have put into these kids lives is unmeasurable. You will not be alone. There may be times when you are lonely or feel a sense of loss but a piece of you is in each of them. No one can take that away.
April 25th, 2008 at 8:17 am
What a great thought, Rick - thank you. Love you.
April 25th, 2008 at 11:00 am
The great “injustice”: You raise your children to be independent - and then they are, but you are not quite ready for it! For us, 2001 was an interesting year as within a 5 week time slot, our son graduated from high school, our daughter go married and our son moved out of the house! (We only had 2 days warning - and he moved back in for about 6 months a year later.) The question for parents/nurturers (sometimes we nurture those not born to us) is why is it so hard to let go when that’s what we’ve been preparing them to do for oh-so-many years?
April 25th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Karen - I have five children I birthed, and tons of “camp kids” - the young people that worked on my staff the five years I was the site director of our denomination’s camp near Mt. Hood. They became like my own children, at a time when three of my own children had grown up, moved out, and went on to (how dare they) create their own lives. Now, my youngest oldest child is graduating from college, the camp kids are marrying, graduating from college, moving across the country, etc…and I am in mourning all over again. I know we prepare them to move on….how do we prepare us?