feelings, woe, woe, woe, feelings…
Grief is such an odd thing. I used to apply it only to death, but I’ve learned that grief is really a process that applies to a lot of life’s situations. We all experience loss in our lives ~ it may take on many forms, but remain, nonetheless, a loss. I am grieving the loss of many, many things this evening. I think I’ve been trying to grieve for these things for some time now, but haven’t allowed myself to just simply feel what it is that I am feeling. That’s what feelings are ~ that’s what feelings need. They need to be felt. I fear I’ve been in a rush to move through the process, in order to avoid the deep pain. But, first, I must feel the pain ~ I must be okay with that. I must admit that this Sucks, with a capital “S”, and I must allow myself to just feel the wave of emotions that grieving these losses brings. Then, and only then, will I be able to move on. And, as sad as this makes me, it is time to move on. So, tonight begins the hard work of just accepting the feelings as they come ~ whenever that is, and whatever form they take ~ and allowing myself to just experience them for what they are. Did I mention the capital “S”? Yeh, this just Sucks.
April 5th, 2008 at 10:19 am
When I think of grief I always think of Charlie Brown. He and I have a lot in common. We will never fit into the establishment. Grief is a horrible thing. It causes tears to flow from some unstoppable place. It causes long lost memories to rise to the surface like a film that grows on grease after you cook bacon. Grief makes us feel as though we will never be the same, and that’s because we won’t ever pass this way again.
Grief is a highway. A road that we are forced to take, not because we missed the exit but because we were forced to take it.
I used to feel sorry for Charlie Brown. Now I simply admire him.
Good Grief…..I’m not sure there is such a thing. But it’s part of the plan.
Miss you.